"You can't pour from an empty cup. Take care of your self first."
One of the biggest joys of living is giving. But you can't give unless YOU have enough. Even if you end up giving it will be from a place of lack and fear. Definitely not the abundant mindset that we are all after.
I have been obsessed with personal development and spirituality for over a year now and the biggest realisation for me has been the importance of self-love and how you treat yourself. Your relationship with yourself truly reflects your relationships with the outside world and for me this has become my supreme truth. The answer to every question and solution to every problem lies within us and yet we keep looking for answers outside. I hope this blog post will in some way inspire you to dive deep within and I promise you that will be a key step towards transforming your life.
I want to make a few things clear though. Self-love is not conceit! It's not about always buying yourself expensive bags and shoes. Self-love means being able to say NO when you know you can't afford something. Radical self love is about not getting yourself in debt. It is about taking care of your body, mind & spirit and also about respecting who you really are. And with keeping that in mind here are 14 (14 for its Valentine's Day) ways to start working on your relationship with the most important person in your life; YOU!
Stop that negative self talk. Sometimes this is on auto-pilot and we may not even realise it but we talk to ourselves the way we wouldn't even talk to our worst enemies. I used to do this all the time and I have now consciously started to catch myself when I do this, acknowledge it and then let it go. Everything is always work in progress. You live it and then you learn it and then this cycle keeps repeating.
Stop body shaming. Not many people truly love their bodies. Even dramatic weight loss stems from fear and shame not from love. If you are someone who has always struggled with weight issues then I urge you to check your relationship with your body. Before you embark on any fitness journey you really should truly love your body to see sustainable results; though this is not easy when you constantly see the so called "perfect bodies" on Instagram. You need to accept your body just the way it is and slowly learn to love it. Unlearn everything you have been told and everything that you see. Personally, I have been ashamed of my body pretty much all my life. This was a BIG one for me too. I am learning to truly love my body one day at a time. It's not easy but it's absolutely necessary and totally worth it. Being healthy is about how you feel physically, mentally and emotionally. It's not just about how you look. Be very mindful about your affirmations about your body. Are you saying things like I am so fat, Its in my genes, I have become a whale, I look like a cow!? Stop NOW!
Stop comparing yourself to others. When you compare yourself to others you are basically entering into a war zone knowing you are going to lose. Someone will always be younger, prettier & richer. There is just no point in comparing yourself to anyone else; no two stories are the same. I know this is extremely difficult thanks to social media (I go into the comparison zone quite often too) but we have got to try and keep this in check. Even if you see someone else doing better than you, please don't bitch but be happy for them & bless them. Think about all the time you save if you stop looking at what others are doing and stop comparing yourself with them. Think of how you can make your life better by making good use of that otherwise wasted time.
Discipline your way into becoming the best version of your self. This ties in beautifully to the point I made earlier on comparison. Stop comparing yourselves with others and start working on your self. Self-discipline sounds hardcore but is one of the best ways to start feeling happy, fulfilled, on purpose and as you discipline yourself further and further you start respecting & loving your self more and more.
Learn to say No. It's okay to say NO to toxic people and relationships. We often say yes when we are not ready or don't want it for the fear of coming across as bad. This can only lead to two things; one being that you honour your commitment half heartedly and in the process make yourself really unhappy. Two you dishonour your commitment because you just can't face to do it. At some point the guilt of not honouring your commitment will catch up with you. Guilt & shame is the opposite of love. Either way it's not a good situation. Just saying No in the first place is a bit brutal but it keeps things in the clear.
Keep emotions like guilt, shame, boredom and embarrassment in check. Guilt and shame are some of the lowest frequency vibrations. Whereas love & gratitude are way way up on that frequency list. Every time you feel these low frequency emotions you are moving away from love. Especially when you are alone you need to keep these in check.
Don't get in debt. Choosing not to buy an overly expensive handbag or a pair of shoes or a car (that you certainly cannot afford at the moment) is also self-love. Getting your self in any kind of debt is absolutely detrimental to your soul.
Don't order the cheapest item on the menu just because it's the cheapest item. I used to do this all the time. Respect yourself enough and allow yourself to choose something you really like and want. Don't always buy in sales. Not everything you buy during sales will be great. There is a reason why its on sale. Allow your self to buy the things you love at full price.
Don't save your best looks/outfits for better days. I am not saying that you wear tons of makeup and get a blow out every single day however I am suggesting wearing good outfits every day. Even if you are at home, especially when you are at home or even when you step out to do some chores. Even when you are lounging around the house, wear good lounge wear or night wear. Wear clothes that make you feel good. Don't fear wasting a good outfit. Its never wasted. This will sound proper cheesy but it makes so much sense to quote L'oreal here! 'You are so worth it!'
Have your 'me time' rituals. This is like your Zen time. Weather you like reading, or watching Downton Abbey or expensive skincare or fancy decaf teas... just take out time to totally chill out doing your most favourite relaxing things. This is magical.
Plan holidays often. You deserve all the breaks. So don't delay planning your holidays and don't condition them to things like "if I make tons of money in 2017 then I will plan one". Just do it. Your breaks don't have to be long or expensive or super luxe. Any kind of break with friends & family or even just on your own are great for your soul.
Pamper yourself at the spa & salon often. Getting a massage, facial, pedicure, manicure and/or haircut is always a good idea. I don't even need to explain this any further.
Get crystal clear on your vision & contemplate daily. Lack of a clear vision is often a cause for misery. If you want to love, respect and honour yourself you need to get clear on your vision. Or at least try and think about it everyday. Get to know yourself, ask yourself everyday 'who really am I and what is it that I want from life?'
Take care of your body, mind and soul. Eating good wholesome food, exercising and mediating regularly are absolutely vital. Honour and respect your body. Wellness is not just about being in a good state physically but also about how you feel generally. Feelings and emotions are tell-tale signs of your overall health. Never ignore how you feel.
I sincerely hope that you don't wait a minute longer to start a beautiful relationship with yourself! Happy Valentine's day.
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