Monday, 20 March 2017

9 Ways to Help You Stop Comparing Yourself with Others





"Comparison is the thief of joy."- Theodore Roosevelt 

In todays day and age claiming that I never ever compare my self to others would be a blatant lie. But saying that I intend to keep it in check is nothing but mere truth.

Its funny because I am talking about this on social media, but social media and in particular the Instagram 'Explore' page can potentially be your one way ticket to Comparison Hell.

2 minutes in and you are looking at people you don't know, probably will never ever meet... but you end up feeling like s**t about yourself because they are younger, fitter, richer, prettier and all those good things. They are travelling , showing off luxury and even hanging out with celebrities. The worst thing about it all, this works within 6 degrees of separation. You probably know someone, an acquaintance, friend of a friend who knows them too. This is the single most frustrating thing and quite honestly a big cause of daily stress, anxiety and depression for many.

So then what can YOU do, especially if you too are trying to make a mark on the virtual world. It doesn't matter what field you work in, content marketing and digital influencing is the way forward. Getting off social media is not a sustainable action plan. So how then do you keep this in check?

But before we get into that I want to highlight all the reasons why you should NOT be comparing yourself to others. Online or off.

  • The sheer amount of time you end up wasting, is something to take into account. If you simply start adding up the amount of time you collectively spend online watching videos and looking at photos that do not bring you any joy or inspiration you will be shocked. 
  • Now think about actually taking that time and spending on your own self. You could be exercising, writing a blog post, meditating, doing yoga, making love! I don't know! Just feel free to add things that are relevant to you. 
  • Think about the stress, anxiety, boredom & frustration that you can avoid and perhaps avoid a shrink too ;)


Now here are my top tips to keep comparison in check.

  • Go on a social media detox. Try and do this for one day or if that sounds like a mammoth impossible task then do it in instalments. Don't take your phone to the gym or to the spa. Sleep with the air plane mode on, that's even better.
  • Don't check your social media accounts first thing in the morning or last thing before sleeping, whilst in bed. 
  • Turn procrastination into productivity. Trade Instagram or your most destructive platform for apps such as Calm, Headspace or Audible.  For those of you who don't know, Calm and Headspace are guided meditation apps and Audible is a monthly membership audiobook app.
  • It's okay to let go of certain people/influencers you are following on social media who don't bring you joy or happiness or inspiration anymore. If their frequent posts are getting you annoyed, please give yourself the permission to unfollow them. Feeling bad, fearful thoughts & being angry, frustrated or jealous will not help.
  • You probably believe that you don't get to choose the situation or circumstances that you were born into. But what if this wasn't true? Flip this around; what if you actually chose this life for reasons you don't know yet and perhaps for you to rise up, learn and grow from your life situations. The idea is to fall in love with your life. 'This Here Now' is the most important thing. Learn to cherish it. Don't curse it.  Don't put conditions on it. Think why you are where you are and what you need to learn & do in order to bring about desirable changes. Bring the focus back on you and your life and ways to make it better. 
  • Celebrate other people's success. When you cringe at another person's success you are basically cringing at success in general. If you can't truly be happy or at peace, know that at a vibrational level you are repelling that success. Next time you see someone with a bag that you want but can't afford, bless them, or even better celebrate them. If you can't come to terms with this concept yet then at least ignore and unfollow them. But please don't react negatively. Even if you keep your thoughts in check, feelings don't lie. If your body is contracting looking at them or you start breathing tight or you skip a heartbeat... these feelings vibrate and bring you back the same feelings of lack & comparison, magnified. Law of Attraction has got ya!
  • Gratitude is such a big one here. If you are grateful for what you have, at least in the moment of that gratitude it is impossible for you to compare yourself with others. Try and live in gratitude most of time. Writing down things that you are grateful versus just thinking about them helps you feel true gratitude quickly.
  • Don't frown upon the habit of comparison. See it for what it really is, just a habit. And just like any other habit this one can be replaced by another more productive habit. Being aware is key. So next time when you find yourself in the dark depths of comparison; observe, acknowledge and accept that. Then try and bring your attention back to something else, perhaps yourself, your life & your accomplishments. It's ok! Breathe, let go and get on with your daily tasks. Catching yourself on the comparison train is a big step towards keeping it in check. 
  • Try and always keep your focus on becoming the best version of yourself. This should automatically keep comparison in check. 

If you ever find yourself comparing self with others, just know that whatever you see on the outside surface or on social media is a very tiny part of people's lives which has been set up to look good. You will never know about their struggles or what really goes on behind the scenes. And no one has it all perfectly sorted out. Imagine if that was the case, life would be pretty dull. Wouldn't it?

And let me know if you found this blog post useful, I would love to hear from you.

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